Psycho Women I have known or what doesn’t work on guys

February 2, 2007 at 4:04 pm (bars, dating, life, pick-up lines, pickup, romance, sex)

A few years ago I was living in
Denver Colorado.. Friday nights were the big after work happy hours and my friends and I were always in attendance. I saw a very attractive petite woman who came in every Friday night and sat with her back to the crowd facing the bar.  She had hair down to her waist and dressed very professionally. I told my friends I wanted to meet her and they laughed. She had been blowing off guys for 3 weeks.

I stood next to her while I ordered a drink. I noticed the wall behind the bottles was mirrored. She could see most of the bar even though her back was to it. Someone had bought her a bouquet of flowers, which lay in front of her.

“Wow, someone must really like you,” I said nonchalantly.

“You want ‘em?” She asked in a disgusted manner. “you could give them to one of your girlfriends.”

“I don’t have any girlfriends.”

“Sure! I see you in here all the time,” she said, again with a lot of venom.

“I’ve seen you here before too. You’re always alone and facing away from everyone. Why is that?” I asked.

“I don’t want to be bothered,” she said.

“This is a funny place to come to be alone. I did notice you can watch the entire bar from that mirror behind the bar,” I said.

“I have to go,” she got up to leave.

“Gee that’s too bad, we were just starting to have fun. My name is Dave, I hope we meet again sometime.”

With that she stomped out.

A couple weeks passed and I didn’t see her. The next time she came back, sat in the same place with her back to the crowd. My friends laughed and guffawed when I said I was going to try again. She was very pretty, way out of my league, but I had that backbone in a bottle working for me. I was also stoned and didn’t really care. My intention was to go screw with her because she had been such a bitch for no reason.

“Hi, how are the bottles doing?” I asked.

“Oh it’s you! I was hoping to see you tonight,” she said.

What the “f” was going on? She was hoping to see me? In hindsight I should have walked away right then but I was flattered. She handed me a flower.

“I bought this for you.”

“No way. Some guy bought it for you,” I said.

“No, I bought it for you when I saw you were here. I knew you would come to talk to me,” she said.

“That was very nice. Can I buy you a drink?” After that we made some small talk. Its vitally important to let the girl talk as much as possible. I did not say much at all about myself other than I was a sales manager at a large office equipment company.

“You know, they opened a new bar across town I was going to check out, do you want to come with me?” I asked. Always good to get in control and move them out of their comfort zone.

“I don’t even know you, but I think I can trust you. OK”, she said

As we walked past my friends they started hooting and hollering and making a scene.

“Your friends are assholes,” she said.

“Yeah sometimes, but they are really good guys,” I said.

“Did they tell you they all came up and hit on me and I turned them all down?”

“Yeah, come to think of it, I think they did. Why did you pick me?”

“Because you didn’t use some line. You were nice,” she said.

Make special note, I didn’t use a line. That was probably because I was stoned but canned unoriginal lines DON”T WORK unless the woman wants to get picked up. Well, except the palm reading gig.

On the way to the bar, I put on some real corny soft music. I think it was Linda Rondstadt and the Nelson Riddle Orchestra.

“What’s this?” she said almost with disgust.

“Its some music from the 30’s and 40’s that Linda Ronstadt did. I like it because it makes me feel like I am floating,“ I laughed. She was on guard against getting seduced.. I could have changed it to something harder like Van Halen or AC/DC but just left it. It was my car.

We talked and got to know each other. I was a perfect gentleman and when she wanted to go back at 11pm I didn’t complain. I figured I could still hit another bar.  I asked her out for dinner the next night and she agreed. I don’t even think I got a kiss good night. She shook my hand. I figured the next date would be a total bomb but what the hell. If she wanted to go home again at 11pm I would be rid of her and still had time to hit another bar.

The next night I took her to a very quiet, romantic place for dinner. It wasn’t expensive but a place out of the way. Again I try to be a little different. At the end of the night we ended up in bed.

She had a very tight muscular body and I have always been about 20 lbs overweight. She had a lot of scars all over her body. Now here is where it started getting weird.

She said she was an undercover cop. Great! I smoke dope and try to stay as far away from cops as possible. She said she and her partner had gone deep undercover and had lived with a biker gang for over a year to break up a meth amphetamine ring. When the bust went down, the Feds didn’t tell the local cops and it turned to total chaos. She ended up getting all cut up and her partner had been shot and died.

Wow! How wild. Just like on TV. I pretty much decided right then I was not going to be seeing her again. I just don’t like cops. The next morning she wanted to go to breakfast and took me (she paid) to a nice place. I tried to leave around noon. She wanted to spend the day with me. OK, what the heck. I was already there.

She said she was now working on a white slavery ring. Some guys would come into
Denver and pick up run aways on the streets and take them to
New York and turn them into prostitutes. Pretty far out but it sounded believable at the time. Somebody does that stuff right?

I had just been promoted at work and needed to go in to the office to plan my week. Sunday nights were work night for me. I tried to leave. She started freaking out. She didn’t want me to go. I told her I had to.

“Do you think you can just fuck me and leave?”

Sharon, we have been together for 24 hours. I really have to go.” I really did too. She bitched and moaned but finally about 8pm I was able to get free. Now I knew I didn’t want to see her again.

She called several times over the next couple weeks but I was always too busy. I stayed away from the bar where I had met her. My friends said she had been there and was asking about me. Finally she just gave up.

A few months later I was on a date with a new “prospect”. We were sitting at a table when
Sharon saw me. She came up and stood in front of the table glaring at me.

Sharon, how are you?”

“Is this your girlfriend?”

“No, just a friend. We are having a drink,” I said.

She just stood in front of the table seething. I was a little worried she might have a gun and shoot me. Finally I took her aside and told her I would call her during the week. My date and I left as soon as I could.

“Who was that psycho bitch?” she asked.

“Somebody I knew a few months ago. I haven’t seen her in months.”

“She must really have liked you,” she said.

“I only went out with her once. I did spend the night with her, but she was too crazy for me.”

Weird thing happened, I ended up spending the night with that one too.

That Friday night I went out with my buds as I usually do. I was home asleep at 3am when the phone rang.

“Hi honey what are you doing?”

“Who’s this?” I asked totally groggy.

“I’m with that guy I told you about. He wants to have a party,” she said.

Sharon? Look, I’m asleep, can I call you back in the morning?”

Then she changed her voice. “Look, I’m on the job. When I couldn’t find you, I decided to go the a bar where the white slavery guy goes. He was there. I can’t get hold of my partner and I need back up.”

“What?” I said.

“Hi honey, my girlfriend wants to meet you. What’s the address here?” she said to a man in the room with her. He repeated the address.

“Did you get that honey? You’ll like him, he’s very handsome,” she said to me. I could hear him moving around in the background.

“See if she can bring some coke,” he said to

“She said she doesn’t have any. Do you know where we can get some?”
Sharon said to him.

“Here call this number,” he said and I could hear him leave the room.

“Did you hear all that? I need you to call the
Boulder police department and tell them Satin needs backup.” She hung up.

Now I mentioned before I don’t like cops. I don’t want anything to do with them. But this girl sounded like she was in trouble and I would feel terrible if anything happened. I called 911.

“This is 911, what is the nature of your emergency?”

“I have an officer who needs back up…” I was immediately switched to the
Denver police department. I explained the situation.

“What is your name, address and telephone number?” This was before the days of Caller ID.

“Do I have to give you that?”

“We can’t take the report without it.”   I reluctantly gave them the number. I also gave them the phone number of the drug dealer the guy had talked about as well as the address where they were staying.

“What is the officer’s name?”

“Her name is
Sharon. I don’t know her last name,” I said.

“Why don’t you know her last name?”

“I just met her. She told me to get a message to the chief of the
Boulder police department and tell them Satin needs backup,”

“Satin? I thought you said her name was
Sharon,” the operator said.

“Yes, her name is
Sharon. I don’t know anything about this. She said Satin is her code name. She asked me to get the message to the police chief.”
”Ok sir, we’ll look into it.”

I laid back in bed staring at the ceiling. Was I being duped? Was she really in trouble? The more I thought about it, the more pissed off I got. The phone rang.

“Did you make a 911 call to the police department?”

“Yes, I did,” I said.

“Well we called that number you gave us. Those people were asleep. The Boulder Police department has never heard of Satin…” Suddenly my call waiting beeped.

“Wait a minute, maybe that’s her,” I switched to the other number.

“Hi honey, its me? Are you coming over?”
Sharon said.

“I called the police and they have never heard of you,” I said. I could hear a man’s voice in the background.

“Who the hell are you talking to now?” he demanded.

“I’m calling my friend to set up two girls for you. That’s what you wanted,”
Sharon told him.

“This is bull shit, who the hell are you talking to?” he said.

“No, stop! Don’t do that. Get away…’ The line went dead.

I told the cops what had happened. They said they would look into it. I hung up and layed in bed looking at the ceiling. The more I thought about it, the more pissed off I became. That psycho bitch had just set me up. There was no telling what she would do next. I couldn’t get back to sleep. I started to worry she would show up at my house with the guy she was with. Finally I went to the Howard Johnsons and got a room for the night.

I know this story sounds like total BS but I swear every word is true. The story is too bizarre to make up.

I saw
Sharon about a year later. She said her partner had shown up a few minutes after she got cut off. They had busted the guy and taken him to jail. She said she got beat up pretty bad and had a broken arm. She thanked me for making the call.

I never saw the psycho bitch again.


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Carleton Sheets of Dating

February 2, 2007 at 4:03 pm (bars, dating, life, pick-up lines, pickup, romance, sex)

Carleton Sheets of Dating


Every so often I buy one of these how to date courses. I figure the more you know, the better you off you are. I do the same thing with sales courses. I am already make my living as a salesman and the best salesmen tell stories. So why would I do this?


There were two lumberjacks who were in a competition to see who could fell a giant readwood tree the fastest. The bell rang to start the competition and the first lumberjack went to the tree with his ax and started hacking away. The 2nd lumberjack disappeared and was gone for half an hour. When he showed back up, his friend asked him where he had gone. He had lost a half an hour of chopping and was very far behind. His reply? I went to sharpen my ax.


If you are in any kind of professional business, you need to keep your ax sharp. Doctors spend hours and hours reading medical books and magazines long after they have graduated. Lawyers and accountants take classes so they are up on the latest changes in the law or tax code. If you want to get good at picking up women, you have to keep the ax sharp. Just going to a bar and trying the same old lines and getting rejected isn’t going to help you any. It will just get frustrating and pretty soon you’ll end up with a woman you can’t stand who you will eventually give divorce and end up buying her and her lawyer a house and car.


There is a better way. That’s to date the kind of women you really are attracted to. You may get so good at it that you decide it’s a lot better to keep dating and never get married. Dating is the fun part. That’s the hunt. In the beginning of a relationship everything is new and exciting. Its only after a few months that it seems to get boring and stale and you find yourself surfing Internet porn again.


I stumbled across this book “Get in the Pants” supposedly written by a woman. Its more of a course than a book. There are even audio clips that go along with the package. Reminds me of a Carleton Sheets real estate course.


They load you up with so much information, you can’t help but buy it. It would take you hours to wade through it all. The fact is, most of it is very very good. If you do the things suggested, you will get laid. Pay close attention. There is more going on here than a couple of spiffy lines. The author talks a lot about what women are thinking.


Now there is no way in hell I can tell you if what she say’s women are thinking is actually what they are thinking. I’m a guy. I gave up trying to understand women a long time ago. I developed a few tricks, mostly through trial and error that work better than 60% of the time, but for me, it works pretty much the same way I run computers. I don’t know why they work, I only know if I type something in this box, the computer does what I expect it to do. Women are the same kind of mystery to me.


I get a lot of comments from guys saying “who can remember all that bullshit?”. I know immediately that these are guys who don’t get laid nearly as much as I do. Why? They are sloppy and lazy. Think about anything you do in life successfully. You had to take the time to learn it and practice it. It didn’t happen by accident. Maybe I should put it in a scenario guys understand. Do you think the Patriots got to the Superbowl by accident? Do you think if 30 guys just showed up at the stadium and had not practiced their drills over and over again that they would have a chance?


Dating is the same way. Check out the website at

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Just What do Women Want?

February 2, 2007 at 3:55 pm (bars, dating, life, pick-up lines, pickup, romance, sex, Uncategorized)

About 20 years ago, wow that makes me feel old, I broke up with a girl I thought I was totally in love with. I mean I felt like dying. Literally. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t work. Her name was Terri.

Now Terri isn’t a strange or uncommon name like say Madelyn but its not everyday like Maria or Jane. Stop and think how many women you know named Terri. Let’s see there’s Terry Hatcher and theres…. Well you get the point.

I started seeing her name everywhere. It seemed like it was written on busses, on billboards, everywhere. It didn’t make me feel any better.

One of my friends came over to rescue me. He forced me to go to a bar with him. He wouldn’t take no for an answer. I didn’t want to go out. I just wanted to sit home and feel sorry for myself and contemplate suicide. It hurt that bad. Maybe thats why he dragged me out. Good friends are priceless.

I had been a good boyfriend. I paid for all our dates. I brought little presents unexpectedly. I sent flowers just because its tuesday, all that sappy stuff we think women liked. I never cheated or strayed. Yet I had been dumped. It was so painful.

For some reason I asked the bartendress. At first she thought it was a pick up line and believe me, even then I wasn’t that attractive. After she got over it, she said “maybe you are too nice”. How can you be too nice? She told me one of the biggest secrets I have ever learned about dating women. Women like guys that are a little dangerous. They don’t want guys like my dad who worked hard, came home every night precisely at 5:30 and took care of his family. They wanted a little excitement.

So we did an impomptu survey. We went around the bar and asked every woman in the bar if she had her choice between 1. A good guy who is always there for you and never even looks at another woman or 2. A guy who works hard and plays hard and makes passes at other girls now and then, maybe even cheats once in a while. Guess which one the really hot girls picked.

Go do this one yourself. If you don’t go to bars, ask the girls at work. Walk up to strangers in a mall. (this is a great opener by the way).

Hi, I’m taking a little survey. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but I can’t believe the answers I am getting. And then lay out the questions. Let me know what you find.

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Palm Reading to Pick Up Women

February 2, 2007 at 3:53 pm (bars, dating, life, pick-up lines, pickup, romance, sex)

This is one of my favorites. It is extremely hokey but works amazingly well. Here is how it works.

You are sitting at a bar next to a girl you are interested in. Make sure she is not talking to friends, guys etc.
Me: So how are you doing tonite?
Girl: Fine, OK or what ever. (If she blows you off, don’t push it, just move on. You were just trying to be friendly)

Me: Is this the best time you ever had?

Girl: Laughs. This is what you are looking for. You want to break the ice. Again, if you are getting ignored, just move on. If she responds…

Me: My name is Derek. Offer to shake her hand. You want to create body contact. Make sure you get her name. Use it a lot when you talk to her. People like to hear their own name.

Me: So Gladys what do you do?

Girl: Receptions, hair stylist, sales person etc etc. It doesn’t matter. You are trying to get her to talk. (NOTE: if she says she is a mom and has kids, make sure you ask her if she has any pictures. This is usually a test. Most guys are turned off by kids. You aren’t. You embrace the fact that she has kids and want to find out more. Be complimentary of the pictures, especially if they are girls. “Wow, she is almost as pretty as her mother”, “she gets her looks from her mother”. “he looks like a handful”. Etc etc. )

Me: (find out about her job) “Do you like it?” Let her talk. The more she talks the better. She will be getting comfortable with you. Ask a lot of questions. Show interest. Try not to talk about yourself. People like people who are interested in them.
Me: Are you married?

Girl: No (now here comes the kicker)
Me: “Let me see your hand” and reach for her hand. If she resists, insist on it “LET ME SEE YOUR HAND”. Most will give you their hand. Study her palm. You are now holding her hand by the way. After a few minutes let her hand go and turn away from her like you aren’t interested anymore.

Girl: What?
Me: Never mind and act disinterested in her
Girl: WHAT? They will start pestering the hell out of you.

Me: Ok Gladys, let me see your hand again.
She will thrust out her hand demanding to know what you saw. She will also turn in towards you. Try to let her legs touch yours. You are trying to create intimacy.

Me: (most hands have 3 major lines) See this line across the top. This is your mind. See how deep it is. It means you think a lot. Its very strong so that tells me you can be a little stubborn. You are used to getting your own way and once your mind is made up there is very little that can change it. Is that right? (let her talk).

Me: see this line, this is your life line. (If its long and has no breaks) You will have a strong steady life. This hand only shows about 3 months. You other hand is 5 years. (if there are breaks in the line) See these breaks? Something is going to happen to you at each one. Maybe you meet someone new, maybe you get a new job, these are major events. Do you have anything coming up like a vacation or something? (Let her talk).

Me: This center line is your heart. See how deep it is? You have a very strong heart. Its as strong as your mind. You give all of yourself when you are in love. Now see these breaks, this is everytime your heart is broken or hurt. (if there is a fork) See this. This means you met someone or are considering someone else. (lines crossing the heart line) This was someone whose life crossed yours that will have a major impact. Have you recently met anyone? (Let her talk. If she says no, say”you will”. She will start to wonder if you are that person)

Look for small lines on the side of the palm. “See these lines, these are problems. You have a lot of problems you are trying to work out” Everybody has problems. Let her talk.

Make sure you throw in the following somewhere.
“You really like someone but either they don’t know or don’t show it. You are afraid to tell them because they might not feel the same way about you. Is that true? Why would someone as pretty as you be worried?

“All your friends bring their problems to you. You try to help them out but it seems like there is no one to listen to your problems. No one seems to understand you. Is that true?”

“There is a guy who really likes you but you don’t feel the same. It would be fine to have him as a friend but you can tell he wants more. You don’t want to hurt his feelings but he is not really for you. Is that true?”

Another one is to push their fingers together and look for gaps. If there are, say “Money seems to flow right through your hands. You are very generous, but you never seem to have enough money. Is that true?” Nobody has enough money.

When you are finished, they will almost always thrust their other hand at you to complete the long term reading. You can take a break here and try to get her to dance or you can continue on. What ever the case, you are monopolizing her time and she is “with you”. She feels comfortable with you and is telling you all about her life. No other guy she has met is that interested in her. You are scoring major, major points.

Occasionally when you are finished, she will bring her friends over to meet you and get a reading. Don’t do it. You will get a disconnect with the girl. You will have plenty of time to scam on her friends in the future. “I’ll do this some other time. For now I just want to get to know you. Would you like to dance?”

If you do start reading the friends palm, you will lose both of them. The 2nd girl wont try to move in on her friend, and the first girl will either get jealous or just lose interest. I have had several girls crowd around me and want me to read their palms. Its amazing.

Your goal was to meet a girl, establish a rapport and physical contact. Palm reading does that.

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